Two Semi-Epiphanies Within a Week is Painful, Folks.

Epiphany # 1. - The other day I was hanging out with a best gal pal of mine, and as we were talking I realized what shouldn't-have-been-so-shocking of a truth. 

My life is speeding by. 

She reminded me that I'll be turning 20 in about 7 months. 20! And all these things I hadn't made time for just began to dance across the inside of my skull as unfulfilled dreams. Like learning how to ice skate, or finally writing my book. Actually playing tennis well, and actually traveling the places I've longed to. 

I realized that I had to get my act together and start living my life to the fullest. 

Epiphany #2. - This was a slightly more amusing and certainly less shocking realization. I was sitting alone and turned on my phone music on shuffle, and settled on the song, "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen. It was then, while singing those notes of pure sadness, I can to the conclusion I didn't want to live my life alone. I mean I've always known I want to get married, but I realized even more than that; I wanted a friend that I could live my life through with and remind him of the silly jokes we made up as young twenty-somethin's. I wanted a friendship, not just a romance. 

Well, anyway, now you know way too much about the inner workings of my hormonal brain.
Many happy epiphanies to you! 

Nell McKinnon

The Chronicles of The Most Uncomfortable, Boring, Depressing Place ofExistence Ever (Tales of Kaiser)

These are the stories of how I was forever scarred by Kaiser Permanente. Me and my family have been coming here for a few years now, and however traumatizing, the care is better than the previous health organization we were under. That said, going to Kaiser is literally the pits of despair in this mortal realm. Let me digress.

Today's Reason #1. I had an old couple stare at me for a good straight 20 minutes. Not the happy, old-people stares, like you remind them of their grandchildren or something. But the stares of a deranged duo intent upon the availability of my organs for some kind of unwilling donation to their younger cloned selves in the bottom of their very creepy basement. 

Today's Reason #2: A middle-aged woman with a rather grungy trench coat looked at me with an intensity that immediately set me on the edge of a 30 story cliff. And as if that was not enough to make me incredibly uncomfortable, she began to lumber towards me. Luckily for me, she was only interested in the magazine rack directly beside me; which still put her in a proximity of me that I very uneasy with, but she quickly retreated having found nothing of worth to read. (However I still question her seemingly innocent motives, because everybody knows there is absolutely nothing worth reading in the bizarre magazine collection any such establishments as this acquire.)

Today's Reason #3. Though they have wifi, Netflix is an impossible feat due to their slowest of the slow internet connections. I mean, a turtle powering wifi via a treadmill would still go faster than this. (My Mother just commented that the turtle could indeed have two broken legs and still conquer the Kaiser internet speed with astounding ease.)

So these are the odd, but true tales I have collected for now. 

I shall post when I must visit once again this doomed place. 

Nell McKinnon